As an elite femininity coach, I’m constantly focused on one of the five feminine qualities that I teach my clients so they can tap into the full expression of their feminine essence and live more playful and purposeful lives.
One of those qualities is receptivity – the ability to receive and to be open to pleasure. Receptivity is especially important at this time of year – the season of giving. Believe it or not – it’s an act of kindness to receive!
Most people think that to be kind, you must do things for others. And, while being helpful or memorable with a gift or an action is a key component of kindness, others want to enjoy giving too!
It’s kind to receive graciously. For some though, it can be hard to stop and receive when we have become so focused on doing. Doing, doing doing! All the time, often for others. Certainly, it’s in our nature to give. Women are the nurturers, which is also one of our unique qualities.
Receive with Pleasure
Yet rarely do we consider how we receive gifts. Sometimes, we even reject them with our words. Oh, you shouldn’t have! This is for me? Why would you do that? These flowers will only die, why waste money on them? But, I don’t have anything for you! You shouldn’t have spent your money!
When I was little, every Christmas was the same. We’d go to my grandparents’ house after Santa came at our home to enjoy a second gift exchange. My sister and I would be so excited, tearing the paper off the gifts, shaking boxes and gasping with glee at the contents. Then, somewhere in the middle of the revelry, our grandmother would start crying, or toss the gift my grandfather had given her back at him. It was usually a stack of crisp hundred dollar bills. She would literally throw the money at him! How do you think he felt? How do you think we felt? What message was her action sending to the universe of abundance? Was my grandmother in her purely pleasurable feminine? Was she ravishing and beautiful in that moment? No! And it was confusing too – because my grandmother was a lovely woman. She just wasn’t great at receiving.
Similarly, this weekend, I texted a dear friend to say how excited I was about a gift I’d found for her. Do you know what her response was?
Intriguing. Thank you, but unnecessary.
Ouch! Where was the flirtation, the fun of receiving, the excitement of possibility and pleasure? As women, we are born to pleasure! A woman filling herself up with pleasure is a gift in itself.
Receive happily and joyfully!
For example, last Saturday I was driving up to Los Angeles from Orange County for a workshop. I was so excited about my ‘LA’ day! I’d planned to stop at Barneys on Wilshire to eat lunch and watch the celebrities shop for Christmas. Then, I’d mosey over to the workshop, relaxed and refreshed with plenty of time to spare.
The reality? It took me forty-five minutes just to get past the Beach Boulevard exit in Huntington Beach due to a wreck on the 405 freeway. Soon it was obvious that my delicious plan and my GPS needed a redirect! An hour later, irritable, hungry and disappointed, idling at the intersection of LaBrea and Stockton Avenue, I noticed a man in the median approaching cars. At first, I thought he was homeless. Then, I saw the bright bunches of flowers in his hand and the sign on a bucket next to him that said $10.
I thought, those are beautiful flowers, I would love to buy some. But I don’t have enough money with me. I grabbed my purse anyway and found two fives tucked in a pocket. Yes! But wait – I won’t be home for hours. They’ll never live. My body ignored my brain and I rolled down my window and watched my arm snake out of the car and wave at the man. I handed him the two fives in exchange for a big, colorful bunch of roses wrapped in shiny red paper. The minute I pulled them into my car, the fragrance perfumed the air and freshened my entire being. I couldn’t wait to get to the workshop. When the workshop leader came in, I handed her the flowers and melted into the smile that lit up her face as her hand went to her heart.
“These are for me? I haven’t gotten flowers in years!” She was so excited and happy. She allowed the sublime surprise of the gift and she looked ravishing! And I felt like I had done something much greater than hand her a $10 bunch of roses. Not only that, my enjoyment of the fragrant, fresh flowers for the last part of my trip was a gift to myself.
So, you see, when you are able to receive, to embody your receptive feminine, you are free to accept the abundance that is everywhere in the world, not just at Christmas. And it adds to the kindness of the moment. Remember to be ravishing in receptivity!