I was married for 18 years before I realized I was in an abusive relationship, and then it took another 6 years before I was able to execute an international escape to save my adult daughter and myself. Sadly, abusive, rude, demeaning and belittling behaviors have become normalized in our society. Most people, myself included, have a hard time realizing or accepting that they are being abused. Sometimes it takes decades to accept, and by then, so much mental and psychological damage has been done.
July 27th is National Love is Kind Day! It is a day for all victims of domestic violence and domestic abuse to celebrate their independence from their abuser’s control, dominance and power.
When people are released from the shackles of abuse, they can then begin to create the productive, joyful and prosperous life they deserve. Having the right support and guidance can help create a kind and nurturing environment where we all can rise together.
Here are some helpful actions you can take to create kindness and respect in your life:
- Expect to be treated with kindness.
- Repeat the mantra “I deserve to be treated with kindness, and that starts by being kind to myself.” Expecting kindness is a difficult concept for many, but reminding yourself that you are worthy of love and respect is that beginning of self-empowerment.
- Eliminate self-defeating negative thoughts. Catch yourself when you say, “I’m not good enough.” “How could I have been so stupid?” “I should have known better.” “I feel like a fraud.” These are destructive stories that are running in your head. Don’t give in to believing them. Instead, treat yourself with compassion, because you’re human and you deserve kindness.
- Be kind and empower yourself.
- Establish healthy boundaries.
- Learn to ask confidently for what you want instead of silencing yourself out of shame and fear.
- Practice good self-care habits regularly— drink enough water, get good sleep, do things that make you happy.
- Honor your values and stay true to yourself.
Being kind to yourself is not about being weak, nor is it about being selfish. Rather, being kind to yourself is the foundation for empowerment. It’s also important not to confuse being kind to others with being a people pleaser.
This is not the same thing. Emotionally hurt people often hurt themselves and others by abusing, insulting, demeaning, and much more. Kind people are confident, feel worthy and empowered, and can therefore empower others.
Let’s come together as a community to change, save lives and create joyful and prosperous generations to come. The more you share your story and share what you do to spread kindness, the more you will help yourself and others.
Here’s how you can participate:
Celebrate for all victims of domestic violence/domestic abuse their FREEDOM and INDEPENDENCE from their abuser.
Recognize our right to be treated with KINDNESS. Because real love is kind, not terrorizing.
Realize that kindness is the path to healthy and safer relationships for families, society, business and the world.
Give voice for and hope and support to others who are still suffering, often in silence.
Spread messages how we can be kind to one another, especially to those closest to us.
Remember that love is not abusive, violent, demeaning or dehumanizing. If someone uses love as an excuse for their hurtful behavior, it’s not real love.
Join us to celebrate the first National Love is Kind Day on July 27th by:
- Liking the movement’s Facebook page, becoming a member of the private Facebook group, and joining the Facebook event to connect with supportive and empowering individuals.
- Using hashtags #LoveisKindDay #TheLoveisKindMovement when you post on social media!
- Getting more information on the official site at www.theloveiskindnetwork.com/