Self-attunement can help us develop a kind and loving approach to our inner life.
Self-attunement is the ability to access the power of healing, wisdom and your higher self. A way to tune into your mind, heart and body. To tap into the source of energy within you. To live the greatest expression of who you are and achieve greater self-awareness.
Intellectually, the ways we self-attune seem so obvious, yet in the midst of emotional turbulence, fear, uncertainty, or trauma, we don’t always have the inner strength, awareness and clarity to break through to our inner self.
In these moments, we need someone to be our light, to be by our side, and to guide us out of the darkness and back along our path. Below is my personal self-attunement blueprint. It’s a compilation of lessons I’ve learned along the way from mentors and spiritual leaders I admire. It evolves as I evolve. Each lesson includes a few heart-opening questions to ask yourself.
What are heart-opening questions?
Heart-opening questions are phrases or inquiries that can help us unveil deeper truths about ourselves. When our heart is closed, we block out our light and flow of energy. We must open this energy center to release and heal. Closing up would only lock the pain, fear and trauma back inside (exactly where we don’t want it). Over time, this leads to emotional stacking and makes it much more difficult to self-attune.
How do I use these techniques for self-attunement? If you feel like you’re falling apart, it may be better to start at the top and use this as a checklist. At other times, you may only need to tap into one or two of these techniques. Choose what you need in each moment. Make it your own!
1. Check in with yourself.
Pause and really check in with yourself and your body. Dig deeper, beyond the obvious. Observe any mental or emotional turbulence, without judging or grasping onto it. Breathe and find as much stillness as you can. Gently whisper to your heart: “stay open.”
Self-attunement: Where are you in alignment? Where is your energy blocked? Are you participating in your unfolding or watching it happen?
2. Embrace your dark side
Move ego out of the way. Our egos want to “protect” us, yet that protection could be a contraction of who we are, not an expansion of our authentic selves. Do the “shadow work”. Our shadow self is the “dark side” of our personality that we often repress and don’t want to admit to, such as negative emotions and impulses including rage, jealousy, envy, and greed. Come to terms with your darker half. Find your center of gravity in the light and dark.
Self-attunement: Where is your ego pretending to protect you? What are your blind spots? Where might your view of someone or a situation be distorted?
3. Shift perspective.
When we shift our perspectives, we change our thoughts. When we change our thoughts, we change our behaviors. When we change our behaviors, we change how we experience life (and how others experience life with us). This is the shaping of our identity. Catch yourself when you find yourself pulled into an old perspective or story. Don’t ruminate. Stay aware and in the present moment. Shift from there.
Self-attunement: What’s one limiting belief that’s holding you back? What will happen if you shift your perspective? What’s the impact if you don’t shift?
4. Cultivate the courage to change.
It doesn’t take courage to give up, blame, or stay complacent. It takes courage to change – to really do the work, to take action (not just intellectualize it or talk the talk). Know and own your shadow self. Be vulnerable. Be brave. Get out of your own way. Know who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to show up in the world. Stand in your self-worth. Over and over again.
Self-attunement: Where are you playing small? What decision(s) are you afraid to make? What will have to happen for you to take action?
5. Let go and forgive.
Pain happens. Suffering is a choice. You may feel that you don’t want to let go of your pain. It might mean letting go of a relationship, a part of your identity, or perceiving reality to be something that it’s not. That’s human. At some point though, you must be willing to release suffering to create space for your soul to shine. Forgiveness is also a form of letting go – you free yourself and others. Of course, this is all a process. Just don’t sit in suffering too long; you will sense the signs that it’s time to move on.
Self-attunement: What are you ready to let go of? Why are you choosing to suffer? What are you willing to forgive yourself for?
6. Get curious and creative.
If you’ve made it this far, you may feel a bit lighter. You might find yourself breathing more deeply. From this expanded spaciousness, it’s time to create. Get curious about your purpose, passion, or next pursuit. Listen from a place of curiosity, rather than judgment. You may already know what’s next, or you may be starting with a blank canvas. Surround yourself with inspiring people, places and things. Stack your system with love, gratitude and compassion.
Self-attunement: What lights up your heart? What will you create? How will your curiosity and creativity contribute to the world?
7. Be in the practice.
Ultimately, self-attunement is a daily practice. We never arrive. We transform and we transcend. Do the work. Put your faith in love. Remember that your thoughts and words create. Put space between your stimuli and responses. Forgive. Embrace your light and dark sides. And most importantly, be gentle with your soul and know this is the best and most fulfilling work you’ll ever be in!
Self-attunement: Meditate. Move your body. Breathe. Show Up. Repeat.