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4 Secrets To Connect With Self Love

Stacy CoxbyStacy Cox
September 18, 2020
in Relationships
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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BE KIND & CO | Hitting Your Reset Button Part 4: Connecting With Self Love
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Over this past month, we’ve been acknowledging the idea that our lives have dramatically changed. Through the first three parts of my “Hitting Your Reset Button” series, we have also begun to accept that this time can be unnerving and anxiety-inducing. Whether it’s through changes with your children and their schooling, a pay cut you had to endure, or a shift in your relationship, the world is asking you to adjust, accommodate and acquiesce. This can be totally depleting, emotionally and physically. Let’s just call a spade a spade. This fourth and final part of my wellness series is all about helping you create self love by discovering the emotional highs in your life.

This entire series has been anchored by this quote: “Change is scary, Growth is scary. But what’s more scary is being trapped someplace you don’t belong.”

In our first week together we unraveled the mystery of chakras: where they are, how to detect an imbalance when it hits, and how to bring ourselves back into alignment. Week two got us moving with six yoga postures I trust, specifically geared to reduce stress and anxiety. Week three unfolded the powers of aromatherapy and essential oils to further bliss us out. So where do we go for this last installment? As my best friend Romy sums it up in a word: “Treats!” What does she mean by “treats?” Let me explain.

Romy recently celebrated her birthday. She loves nothing more than to be out in the world feeling fabulous, traveling and spoiling her best gals with fun gifts they wouldn’t buy for themselves (Yes, on HER birthday). I’m pretty lucky to get to be one of her besties, right?

With COVID in full effect, Romy had to adjust her birthday plans to fit the current climate. Was she going to stay home & totally cancel her annual tradition? No way! She “pivots” the plan, as so many of us have done this year. Instead of Vegas, she finds a new boutique hotel called the Glenmark in Glendale, California. She’s a lifestyle blogger and they want some press about how great their rooftop restaurant is, so they are thrilled to have her as one of their first guests. Birthday dinner? Yes, but with masks on, at tables situated more than six feet apart. Drinks and dessert at the bar after? Nope! Instead, she plans a slumber party in her hotel room with custom-made gift bags for myself and another lucky pal. We had a blast for less than twenty four hours, and for a good portion of it we stayed tucked away in a hotel room.

The moral of this little example is: Don’t deny yourself the things that bring you joy, not during COVID, not ever! Yes, you may need to “pivot” how you approach something to keep yourself and loved ones safe, but don’t deprive yourself of the precious self love that helps keep your life balanced. We’re in need of positive forces like joy and self love in our lives now more than ever— here are four ways to start cultivating them.

1. Stop Waiting To Be Happy

The good news is that there are always fresh opportunities to be happy. When you shift your focus and the way you think, your perspective changes. When your perspective shifts, your life changes. So get your shift together and look for opportunities for self love right now.

2. Make Self Love A Part Of Your Routine

Intentionality is key, and it’s been a big part of our ongoing conversation throughout this series. If you don’t stop and make time for yourself at a deeper level, who will?

3. Appreciate The Small Things

Life is a gift, even on your worst day. The challenge here is to stop and grab yourself before you plummet down the proverbial rabbit hole. Quickly assess the things you do have instead of focusing on the things you don’t. It’s so easy to look at the cup as half empty; I do this at times too. We’re all human. The trick is to sidestep the pity party and RSVP for the abundance that’s around you by just opening your eyes and taking a deep breath.

4. Surround Yourself With Positive People

It’s challenging to stay “up” when the people and culture around you are negative. It’s simple. Just ask yourself, “Does this person add value to my life?” If they don’t, you need to treat them with love, but let them go. You’ve heard the cliche that “when a window closes, a door opens” a million times, but it’s so true! Fall might be well on its way, but it’s never too late to do some spring cleaning in our relationships.

It’s been such a pleasure to share some of my knowledge and ideas with each of you through this series as Be Kind & Co becomes a community resource for anyone who finds their way here. Gratitude to Lu Parker and Becca Evans, my Be Kind & Co teammates. Also to Romy, My Mom, Nancy, DeeDee and Christine who lead by example and inspire me about finding my path and purpose. THANK YOU!

To find more information about Stacy and her work, visit her website.

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