Intimate relationships go through many changes. They ebb and flow through stages that are sometimes out of our control. From first meeting someone, to possibly spending the rest of your life with that person and eventually ultimately loosing the love of your life if you are so lucky to have shared most of your life with one person.
In the process of all these stages, the challenges can be difficult. People lose their jobs or their health is compromised. Children can test us or our aging parents need our care. Our tendency when we are stressed or feel out of control is to blame the person closest to us. It is never a good idea and it will chip away at the love you feel for your partner and could led to ending the relationship.
The one thing we do have control over is our ability to be kind.
Be kind to yourself…You can’t be kind to another if you are condemning yourself…
Write down the areas you know are specific triggers for you that would have you be unkind so you can watch out for those and change your reactions.
Have your default be kind. Make it your baseline so even when you find yourself being unkind to your partner, you consciously reset to KINDNESS.
Relationships are a privilege not a right. Many times after a period of time we think the person we are with owes us something. If you see you relationship as “What a Privildge it is to be with this person” you will naturally be kind.
You have heard the expression “Random Acts of Kindness.” There’s nothing better than to bring unpredictable acts of kindness to the person you love. I have redefined what an act of kindness is for myself. It is looking at what your partner appreciates and you providing that, such as breakfast in bed, taking the kids so they get a break, spontaneous dates…Saying “YES” to almost anything they ask.
It used to be when we had VHS machines and we rented from Blockbuster, they had a slogan called “BE KIND, REWIND.” We can adopt that saying and attribute to when we begin to lash out or criticize.
Simply, Be KIND and Unwind…